I find more inspiration and motivation in writer collaboration than from any other pursuit. Are you one of those writers who agrees?
Do you feel more in sync with other writers than with, oh, the people at work? Or your accountant? Do you find it easier to brainstorm with folks who don’t scoff at the ideas you come up with? Especially when those ideas might occasionally focus on topics such as the different ways one character can poison another?
If so, consider joining my membership community and attending Craft Chat meetings. We:
Enjoy exchanging ideas and viewpoints
Strive to improve our skills and are open to different techniques
Work to become better storytellers and/or refine our writing styles and voices
Love the synergy of a small, intimate group
Exclusive Content and Access to Craft Chat
In addition to the regular posts on my blog, I post exclusive content for my members. For me, it really is all about writer collaboration. At the Craft of Writing level, you’ll find craft tips, videos, how-tos, and information shared by other writers. Recent posts include Birth Order Characteristics and Creating Character Profiles.
You’ll also find downloadable forms, such as character profile templates. I upload new content on a regular basis, so keep checking back.
Craft Chat: The Place for Writer Collaboration
I offer access to monthly Craft Chat meetings to members of my community. They offer a casual but structured environment where we chat about our craft, the challenges we face, and our continued progress. My hope is for each writer to connect with one or more other attendees, without pressure, to find what he or she needs.
For more information, watch the quick video that appears above or check out the Membership page on my website. Once you join my membership community (there’s no cost to join), you’ll be taken to your Membership Dashboard. From there, you can access the exclusive content and register for Craft Chat.
If we writers had crystal balls, we’d have no problem creating memorable fictional characters. Especially when writing short stories and flash fiction.
But how do I, as a woman, actually know what a guy thinks or feels? Yes, men and women are both human and share many similarities … but, let’s face it, everyone knows they’re different, too.
In this blog post, I share some of what I learned during the process of co-writing a mystery novel with my friend Herb, and from collecting the opinions of numerous writers over the years.
They say to write what you know. But what do I know about being a guy? Or what goes on in the minds of men?
Another challenge I’ve faced throughout my writing career is to create characters who don’t sound just like me. That challenge is magnified when I’m writing male characters.
Cowriting with my buddy Herb is, without a doubt, one of the best learning experiences of my writing career. During our collaboration co-authoring a mystery, and throughout the process of critiquing each other’s’ works-in-progress (WIPs), he’s given me insights I wouldn’t have had on my own.
In short, each of us wrote from the point of view (POV) of specific characters in the book—both male and female. Because each of us has a different background (me with insurance and he with law enforcement and the military), we were able to provide further insight into how our characters would/should behave and talk.
Quick Quiz
Can you tell which character (Karl and Stephanie) spoke each of the following lines of dialogu?
Line 1
Ed’s boat went down in a storm three days ago. He’s–he’s–gone.”
Line 2
Gone? Ed? Three days ago?
I’ll bet you could. Line 1 is Stephanie and Line 2 is Karl. Read on to learn some of the characteristics that set male and female characters apart.
In the controversial but fascinating book, Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, more than a dozen best-selling romance writers spell out many of the differences they note between men and women. I agree with the perspectives of many of these writers. Specifically, with respect to the manner in which men and women speak, I’ve learned and observed the following generalizations:
Although everyone will tell you that women talk more than men do, this isn’t always the case. In fact, a study shows it’s only true in a certain age group.
Women ask more questions than men do.
Men interrupt more often than women do.
Women tend to be specific and men tend to be vague. Just ask a woman and a man what color that dress is. The woman will say mauve and the man will say pink. Or purple.
Men are more apt to give orders and women are more apt to make suggestions.
So, you may be wondering, what does this have to do with creating memorable fictional characters? We need to focus on these differences and incorporate them into our characters’ dialogue and behavior.
One tool I’ve found useful is to maintain a spreadsheet or chart of the characters in the story or book I’m writing. In it, I list unique manners of speaking and traits for each character while ensuring that no two characters share the same physical gestures, buzz words, etc.
In the book I’m writing now, Allie is my lead character. She tends to use long, flowing sentences and think deeply. I don’t allow any other characters to use certain words and phrases that she does, such as:
Still, though, given, sure, ditto, yep, nope, nah
In fact, no kidding, then again
Willa, a secondary character, speaks and thinks in shorter, more direct sentences. She’s the only character who uses the following words and phrases:
Yes!, despite, now, sweetie, however
On the other hand, bit my tongue
I also make sure that when Allie describes people and objects, and just generally inside her head, she uses words and connections with sound and smell. (She’s auditory.) On the other hand, Willa’s awareness is primarily visual. However, they both have a connection with scent that runs through the story.
Why Showing Differences is Important
By using separate and distinct qualities and manners of speaking, it’s easier for the reader to (a) identify which character is speaking, and (b) identify with the character herself. By allowing the characters to share a similar trait, I’m able to subtly build the connection between the two women.
One of the best strategies I use when writing from a male perspective is to ensure that much of the character’s conversation and internal thought is short and to the point. I’ve found that men tend to use less description in their talk, less reference to emotion, and fewer words.
Here are some examples from Death Benefits, the book Herb and I wrote together. Note how the male and female characters speak differently. See if you can guess which of us wrote which excerpt.
Excerpt 1
“Glad to meet you, Mrs. Tito. Um, Stephanie. I’m Karl, Ed’s friend, and I’m in town now. Is Ed home?”
“Karl?”
“Yeah, Karl Stryker. Ed’s Army buddy. I want to come by and shoot the … meet up with Ed.”
After a long pause, the woman wpoke very softly. “You haven’t heard.”
“Heard what?”
“Ed’s boat went down in a storm three days ago. He’s–he’s–gone.”
“Gone? Ed? Three days ago?”
Excerpt 2
Manny pulled a notebook from his jacket pocket. “What does this guy look like?”
She closed her eyes. “Late thirties? Longish blond hair, blue eyes, and clean-shaven. Moved like an athlete. Had a nice, open smile.”
He could always count on Ann for the details. “How tall?”
She opened her eyes and grinned. “Taller than me, shorter than you.”
“Ann.”
“My eyes were level with the crooked knot of his tie.”
Creating Memorable Fictional Characters
To sum up, here’s a chart that contrasts many of the ways in which men and women behave and speak differently. Of course, these are generalizations and each individual man and woman will behave uniquely.
MEN
WOMEN
Find life to be a competition
Find life to be a cooperative effort
Socialize with other men to DO things together
Socialze with other women to talk about their FEELINGS and thoughts
Make decisions about what they plan to do; seldom offer explanations
Say what they want to do and offer the reasons why
Make statements (they’re direct) *
Ask questions and make suggestions (they’re indirect)
Body language isn’t always congruent with what they’re thking and feeling (e.g., they’ll avoid eye contact or turn away when emotional)
Body language usually congruent with how they’re thiking and feeling (e.g., they’ll cry or talk when emotional)
Seldom initiate or choose to discuss their emotions
Often enjoy and invite emotional conversation
Learn how they feel by thinking
Learn how they feel by talking
Interrupt *
Take turns
Ask questions to obtain details and information *
Ask questions to continue talking
Vague (the color is blue)
Specific (the color is indigo)
Rarely use other people’s names in conversation
Often use other people’s names in conversation.
FYI, I inserted an asterisk [*] in the Male column above to show traits I share with most men. Also, FYI, all the Female traits apply to me!
Share your thoughts below and/or feel free to add your suggestions for additions to the list!
I’ve heard the phrase, “Love is blind,” ever since I was a child. For the novel I’m currently writing, I’m exploring the concept because one of my characters believes that if you really love someone, you’ll do anything for that person.
When I began crafting my characters and plot, I conducted research on the topic. As always, my research had me recognizing some facts about myself … and feeling much better about some of the dumber relationship mistakes I’ve made.
So, here’s what a handful of scientists and mental health professionals have to say about whether love is blind.
It’s All About Brain Chemistry
When we fall in love (or in lust), our bodies go nuts. Especially our brains. Hormones and brain chemicals conspire to interfere with our common sense. They camouflage what really exists and sometimes prompt us to behave in ways we wouldn’t in the absence of all that romance (or lust).
Thomas Sherman, a noted biochemist and professor at Georgetown University, has said that romantic love subdues the “neural activity associated with critical social assessment of others.” In other words, love makes us believe our lovers are more virtuous and less weak than other people might believe. Love makes us view our lovers through the lens of positivity rather than negativity.
And it’s not that we twist negative reality or refuse to see weaknesses. It’s simply that when we see them, we don’t think they’re meaningful. I don’t remember who used the phrase but somewhere in my research one of the authors explained the phenomenon as us wearing rose-colored glasses during the early stages of love instead of magnifying glasses.
A great example involves how we actually see our lovers. How our minds process the tangibles (cognition) and how reach final conclusions (evaluation). Let’s say Jane is greatly attracted to and loves her boyfriend John. When asked to “rate” his handsomeness in both appearance and attractiveness, she says:
His appearance, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 6
His attractiveness, on a scale of 1 to 5, is a 4
Because Jane loves John more for his intelligence and sense of humor than his looks, she rates him higher than an objective observer would. Others, those who like but are not in love with John, would rate him a 3 or 4 in appearance and 2 in attractiveness.
Our brains actually shut down their logic receptors when we’re in love, which allows us to focus more on our lovers’ positive qualities than on their negative characteristics. In effect, we’re anesthetized to the behaviors that will drive us nuts later on in the relationship.
Brain Chemicals Behind the “Love is Blind” Phenomenon
Brain chemicals affect lust, attraction, and attachment. We’ve all felt lust. It’s our estrogen and testosterone that get that ball rolling.
Attraction is all about enthusiasm, energy, craving and—sometimes—obsession. Three brain chemicals are responsible for these responses:
Dopamine regulates our reward centers, motivation, sense of novelty, and directs our goals.
Norepinephrine increases our energy, decreases our appetite, races our hearts, and reduces our need for sleep.
Serotonin regulates our mood, sleep, appetite, and cognitive functions. It has a tendency to depress and decrease and is responsible for love-related obsession.
Scientists and psychologists say that, on average, commitment becomes very important in true love relationships about four years in. Commitment can include monogamy, cohabitation, and/or marriage. At this time, the level of dopamine in the brain drops and is replaced by either oxytocin (in women) or vasopressin (in men).
Oxytocin is released during childbirth and breastfeeding. It supports the mother-child bonding, pair bonding, and empathy in women.
Vasopressin makes a male want to bond with a mate and is responsible for territorial aggression. It’s what makes many men so protective of their girlfriends, wives, and families. However, in most males who are not interested in or capable of pair bonding, it’s been found they have lower than normal levels of vasopressin.
Other Factors that Support the Love is Blind Concept
Sherman has also said that “love begins as a stressor then becomes a buffer against the stress.” Love activates the brain’s reward centers. Cortisol increases one’s awareness which, in turn, offsets the stress response. And, of course, dopamine heightens pleasure.
We’ve all heard the phrases, “love at first sight,” “the One,” and the “halo effect.” Pesky brain chemicals are the culprits here, as well. Love at first sight is most likely a combination of lust/physical attraction and projection—seeing in others what we’re feeling/thinking ourselves. When we’re looking for our soulmate, that’s who we think we’re seeing in this gorgeous, wonderful person. Voilá: The One. The halo effect, what my mother used to call my rose-colored glasses, is believing someone is wonderful simply because we find them attractive. (Don’t we expect the murderer to be ugly and the leading man to be gorgeous?)
A Final Word
In short, it’s biology–nature’s attempt to propagate the species–that set our hormones and brain chemicals in motion when we fall in lust. The emotions of true love are an entirely different matter. Few creatures in the wild mate for life.
It’s shared experiences that help build love after the brain chemicals fade. And keep in mind: communication and communication styles can either make or break a relationship. The signs of true love and a healthy romantic relationship include:
Deep emotional intimacy
Trust
Mutual support and respect
Self-awareness
Choosing to love the entire, flawed person
A balance between individuality and togetherness
Belief that love is a journey and not a destination
Resources
Here are links to a couple of articles to get you thinking:
We’ve all heard that “knowledge is power” and I’m all in when anyone provides research tips for writers. Before the use of technology and the Internet became my primary assistant when conducting research, I spent a LOT of time:
In libraries
Purchasing and thumbing through books and magazines
Conducting face-to-face interviews
Now, I do the majority of my research online and I’m happy to share 3 research tips for writers:
Fiction Writers: Naming Characters
When I create my characters’ names, I prefer them to have meaning tied to the individual character. For example, I know the name Blanche (or Blanca) is entirely inappropriate for a dark-haired woman but perfect for a blonde (or white-haired senior). But that’s only if I’m thinking about her appearance. If I’m thinking about the condition of her soul (as in pure), it would also work … and if I chose it for that reason, I’d probably spell out that her name represented her internal qualities rather than her looks.
Being an auditory person, I like first and last names to “go” together. To sound right. Alliterative names appeal to me, but sometimes they can be too cutesy or over-the-top (e.g., Debbie Downer, Joan Bone). I like my characters’ first and last names to share at least one consonant (e.g., LiNda McHeNry–which is my real name, by the way) or one obvious vowel sound (e.g., AmY GradY). I also want the number of syllables to sound right. Bartholomew Mountbatten is alliterative but it’s a mouthful. IMO, Bartholomew Bing sounds better.
Finally, getting ethnicity right is very important. I’ll never forget reading an article written by a bestselling author about this topic (although I can’t remember the writer’s name!). She chose a last name for her Chinese protagonist based on a number of considerations. Problem was: the name she chose was Japanese. None of her beta readers, nor her editor and agent, ever noted this inconsistency. Worse: MANY of her readers did, as evidenced by her [non-]fan mail!
Here are two websites I find helpful when namng characters:
Looking for an age-appropriate name for Grandma or a teenager? The Social Security Administration has tracked the most popular baby names by year of birth. You can find it here (be sure to scroll down far enough): https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/
Looking for a site that lists BOTH first and last names alphabetically AND by ethnicity? This is your new go-to site: https://www.behindthename.com/
Online Research Tips for Writers
In no special order, here are important considerations when conducting online research:
NEVER rely on a single resource. Why? Because none of us is perfect and none of us knows everything. When relying on sources I find on the Internet, I don’t cite information as a fact unless I’ve verified it by at least 3 sources. My go-to number of sources is usually 5.
ALWAYS choose unbiased sources. For example, if I were looking to buy antivirus software for my computer and smartphone, I wouldn’t go to the websites of McAfee or Norton. Why? While each company certainly knows more about its own product than anyone else does, each company is also prejudiced in favor of its own product. When researching anything to do with technology, I rely on sites such as PCMag.com, CNET.com, and TechRadar.com. Why? They’re in the business of writing about and reviewing technology, not manufacturing or selling it.
NEVER rely on Wikipedia for facts. On its website, Wikipedia clearly states that just about anyone can write and edit content on the site. I’ve personally researched insurance topics on this website and, in each article I ever read, noted incorrect information. Depending upon the subject matter you’re researching, seek out sources that are unbiased and qualified. If you’re not sure how to do that, simply enter a search phrase such as: best online resources for XXX. In the case of finding an alternative to Wikipedia, you might want to type: best alternative to Wikipedia.
For all Writers: Validating Sources
Here’s a list of cautionary advice–make sure that any source you use–online or in person–is reputable and credible.
Verify the source’s background and history in connection with the subject at-hand. Most websites contain this information. If a site doesn’t, be wary.
Search for reviews and online pieces ABOUT your source.
Determine if the source has any bias or personal interest in the subject at-hand. If so, I recommend either disregarding the source or using at least half a dozen sources you know are impartial. Why? It’ll help you see how this one lines up in the scheme of things.
If the source provides evidence, facts, or supporting opinions, check them out to be sure they truly exist and are verifiable.
Avoid statements presented as facts without any supporting evidence or sources. Do you believe everything you read in a resume, online dating profile, or social media feed? I hope not.
Make sure the information you’re using is current. I can’t tell you how many articles I’ve read about the subject of insurance that appear to be current … and were written 10 or 20 years ago. Sure, the content doesn’t use dates, but references to what was going on in the world (like the September 2011 attacks) clearly date the piece and spotlight that the economy referred to in the article has changed.
Keep in mind, I am not related to any of these people/businesses/sites, I’m not paid by them, don’t make payments to them, and I’m simply offering this info out of the kindess of my heart.
I’ve found myself stuck on occasion–otherwise known as staring writer’s block in the face. I’ve tried lots of ways to unstick myself, thought I’d found the best, and just discovered the ultimate. Read on and be amazed…
What being stuck looks like
For me, writer’s block isn’t the inability to write; I can always write something. The block part comes when I can’t write something GOOD–otherwise known as brilliant, inspiring, or exactly the opposite of the boring, uninspiring trash I just wrote.
Many years ago, a writer friend of mine (Nancy Harwood Bulk, who has since passed away), gave me some excellent advice. She said that if you hit a snag in your plotting, or you don’t know how your character should respond, make a list of options. And never use the first ten or twenty of them. Her take was that the first things that came to mind would also come to the mind of the reader and, therefore, were a death knell to good fiction.
I’ve been using that advice for a long time. And, I’m sorry to say, it hasn’t helped me craft the opener my new book. (Which I’m pantsing, by the way. First time for everything.) In the past two weeks, I’ve rewritten the opener about eight times and changed the starting point as many times. I’m nearly bald from ripping my hair out.
Because what we writers do when we hit a snag is conduct online research and become embroiled in procrastination, I began searching for creativity tips. Lo and behold, the creativity gods smiled and pointed me in the direction of my latest treasure. In turn, I’m sharing it with you.
You’re welcome.
After following this guy’s advice I completely turned around my block and have a TON of excellent ideas to work with … and already started putting them into action. I share the link three paragraphs down.
My first go-to for any advice about writing is Writer’s Digest and it had some great articles. If you don’t already have a subscription, get one. The online version is much less expensive than the paper/mailed version. I get both.
I stumbled across several by Jane Friedman, whom I love, which prompted me to visit her website. And that’s where I struck gold. FYI, I don’t know her, never met her, and am not being compensated in any way for this recommendation. She’s just too good not to share.
Jason Keath wrote an article on her website in October of last year, which I obviously missed. Clearly, Karma knew I’d need it more now than I did then … and that you would too. Bad Ideas for More Creative Writing (https://janefriedman.com/3-bad-ideas-for-more-creative-writing/) contains three different tips:
The Bad Idea Method
Constraint Questions
The Fast & Ugly Draft
The Bad Idea Method worked for me and is now my new go-to. How do you get unstuck? What do you think of Jason’s ideas?
