Helping Others Helps Yourself

adult daughter teaching senior mother using smartphone in park

In today’s society, all kinds of crazy things are going on. Instead of isolating ourselves and waiting for Armageddon, we should be pulling together and taking advantage of every positive aspect of our existence. It troubles me that so many of us are unaware that reaching out and helping others helps yourself.

Today, my job is to enlighten you about how this process can turn around your level of satisfaction and success. I’m focusing on writers and the writer’s life but my advice applies equally to writers, insurance professionals, and everyone else. View my examples as metaphors and then apply them to your own circumstances.

Let me start by pouring the foundation:

  • Do unto others.
  • Pay it forward.
  • Help the less fortunate.
  • Volunteer.
  • Do no harm.

We’ve all heard these and other catchphrases urging us to be a better person. And you know what? They all focus on other people instead of ourselves!

Frankly, they turn a lot of people off. Why? Because a person’s first reaction is to think that if you’re working on yourself or your writing or anything else that relates to you, why go off-topic and switch the subject from Me to Someone Else?

Let’s adjust the focus as we begin building the house:

When a car drives into a tree, the crash is the direct cause of damage to the car. And the tree. And, more importantly, injury to the driver. The indirect cause of the damage and injury is the dog who ran into the road. Why? Because the dog prompted the driver to yank the wheel and barrel into the tree.

Life is filled with both direct and indirect causes of loss … and benefits.

In the publishing world, writers often view their successes based on:

  • How well they know their craft.
  • How accomplished they are at writing proposals, synopses, and queries.
  • How adept they are at gaining the [positive] attention of agents and editors.
  • How many books they sell.

They sit at their desks, immersed in tunnel vision, only thinking about themselves: Their work in progress. Their editing. Their rewrites. Their deadlines. Their submissions. Their rejections. In short, all the steps they need to follow to achieve their own, personal goals.

Focusing inward is essential when you’re a writer. The actual writing is, for most of us, a solitary undertaking. Even for those who work with critique partners, beta readers, and mentors, it doesn’t take a village when putting words on paper (or the computer screen).

However, all goals require a path to follow, and all paths run in two directions–two opposite directions. If focusing inward is heading North, then focusing outward is South. If you’re North, then everyone else is South.

Understanding the Value of a Sturdy Roof

None of us enjoys a leaky roof. Drip … drip … drip … will drive you crazy in about thirty seconds. Not to mention the damage that can result from inattention over time.

You absolutely MUST build a strong roof, nurture and care for it, and update it when necessary. Think of other people as the roof to your personal house. (Pssst: helping others helps yourself.)

As writers, when we comply with requests from newbies who ask us for advice and insights, we spend X hours of our own precious time educating them without receiving a direct benefit. One perspective is: the newbie doesn’t have publishing contacts. Another way of looking at it is: the newbie doesn’t know as much as we do about craft. Still another viewpoint is: the newbie doesn’t have anything to impart that we really need. Yada yada yada.

Another perspective is recognizing that each time we share what we know, we’re reinforcing it in our own minds. Each time we explain an element of our craft or the publishing industry, we’re reminding ourselves of something. Often, it’s something we may not have thought about for a while, something we can’t afford to forget. And each time we read or critique someone else’s work, we strengthen our own innate talents and perceptions. Helping others really does help yourself.

The Artistry of Finish Work

I don’t know Jane Friedman–I’ve never met her. I don’t know anyone else who knows her–but I’m familiar with her reputation in the publishing world. Between the information she provides on her website and the bazillions of online articles she’s penned and been the subject of, she embodies “helping others helps yourself.”

Here’s one article on her website about using beta readers that proves my point. The article is written by another person, but it’s on Jane’s website. You can spend all day reading the resources Jane provides on her website without spending a dime. At the same time, you’ll enrich yourself immeasurably.

My Personal Home

When I moved to Montana from Massachusetts, the only person I knew in Big Sky Country was my realtor. Nine months later, my circle of acquaintances and friends had expanded. It included about a dozen neighbors and thirty co-workers at the insurance agency where I was employed.

After I quit my job and established my second insurance agency, I followed my own advice about helping others to help myself. What did I do? I reached out to loan officers, car dealerships, the Chamber of Commerce, and local businesses, etc. I offered my time, knowledge, and expertise. Volunteering on the city’s DUI Task Force was way outside my comfort level; however, it wound up giving me tremendous satisfaction. And and community exposure. Using my sales and marketing experience, I approached the University of Montana’s School of Business Administration with an idea. The Director loved it and, together, we established a networking program that matched graduating college seniors with local businesses looking for interns and new employees. I performed other great and wonderful feats, but I’m guessing you get the picture…

Decorating Help

Now, I must admit, I did ask for one small thing in return for the time I offered without compensation. I asked my newfound friends and associates:

“If you benefit from your interactions with me, would you be kind enough to share your opinion of me–and the fact that I own an insurance agency and am trying to build a new business?”

That was it. That’s all it took. Sure, I worked hard. But other people–those I helped–worked with me and for me. They actually helped me grow my business and become a more satisfied, successful insurance professional.

The Open House: Helping Others

As a writer, I have always followed the same path. I’ve served on the board of several writer’s organizations. I’ve judged hundreds of entries in countless writer’s contests over the years. In one of the writer’s organizations of which I was a member, I created a program called Craft Chat. In each virtual monthly meeting, another published writer and I chatted with unpublished members. We answered their questions about the craft of writing served as a resource.

They helped me by introducing me to new perspectives, sharing innovative ideas, and enforcing what I already knew,. They also taught me about subjects that never even blipped on my radar.

Helping others helps yourself. Feel free to reach out to me anytime!

Mystery Making with Sisters in Crime New England

Advertising the February 10th Mystery Making Event
Hosted virtually by the Barrington Public Library

Join my writer friends at me at Mystery Making with Sisters in Crime New England. I am (and have always been) active in a number of writers organizations–and never more so than since joining Sisters in Crime New England (SinCNE).

Mystery Making is the brain child of SinCNE. It involves a panel of four writers who create a brand-new mystery novel, on the spot. Members of the audience suggest character names and other story elements for us to use.

In the past, we hosted these events live and in-person, but the virtual events are just as much fun. Join Edith Maxwell, Sarah Smith, Tonya Price, and me on Tuesday, February 10 from 7 to 8 p.m. to plot a mystery!

Registration ends at 9 a.m. on the day of the event, so register now. Visit the Barrington Public Library for more information or to register.

Advertising the SinCNE mystery making event on February 10

The organization lists future events on its website. My next Mystery Making with Sisters in Crime New England takes place on March 6, along with fellow writers Lisa Lieberman, Lorraine Sharma Nelson, and Tonya Price. Join us at the Florida Gulf Coast Sisters in Crime Southwest Florida Reading Festival.

3 Reasons to Join a Writer’s Group

The older I get, and the longer I write, the more convinced I become that writer’s groups are an essential component of a writer’s life, success, and mental well-being. Why?

-1- Writer’s groups provide a sense of community, of belonging. Although my professional background has always been in sales and marketing, I have never felt comfortable in large crowds of people (unless I was teaching). Until I walked into my first writer’s meeting in Boston in the late 1980s. There’s nothing that compares to being in a roomful of other creative people. When I’m with other writers, even those I don’t know, I no longer feel just a step out of sync with everyone.

-2- Writer’s groups offer a wealth of information you can’t get anywhere else. Not only do the members of writer’s groups provide you with objective, factual information about the craft of writing and the publishing world, they share their personal impressions and perceptions. Let’s face it, little about storytelling and writing is set in stone. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and preferences. But listening to divergent opinions and insights, and blending the ingredients into a recipe that works for you, is an essential element of growth as a writer.

-3- Finally, writer’s groups provide inspiration and motivation, propelling you on to accomplish great things. Why? Because they hold you accountable. If you’re a member of a writer’s group, you keep writing. And that’s the most important benefit of all. I don’t care what you write, so long as you write, you’ll get where you need to be.

The first book I completed was [what I considered] a romance. A couple of mystery publishers agreed. Unfortunately, the romance publishers thought it was more of a mystery. Despite my confusion, and disappointment, I kept writing.Why? Because. It’s just something I do.

I wrote chapters that never saw daylight. I began writing magazine articles. And a business newspaper column. I wrote short stories. I journaled.

Eventually, I wrote and published a mystery novel and a non-fiction business book. Then I began writing continuing education (CE) courses in the insurance industry (where I worked my “day” job). Then, I was recruited to write insurance CE textbooks for multiple national CE providers/publishers.

My goal was always to be a published writer who supports herself with her writing. Be careful what you ask for, kids, because you  just might get it! Seven years ago, I realized my dream, and began making more money than I ever had. I SHOULD have asked to be a published fiction writer who supports herself with her writing and hits the bestseller list over and over…

Anyway, I now find myself in a position where I whittled my client list down to two, and I spend part of my day writing insurance stuff. I know most people find it boring, but I love it. I spend the rest of my day writing fiction. In fact, right now, I have a fiction novel (the first in a series) on the desks of both an agent and an editor–both of whom I met at a writer’s conference in April!

Only time will tell if I ever hit the best seller list, but I’m writing. And getting paid for it. And working from home without having to wear makeup, a suit, or–thank God!–pantyhose.

You can write your own version of what I consider my success story. Please, join a writer’s group. Write. Stick with it. Your hard work will pay off.

P.S. I’m a member of both the national and regional chapters of the following organizations: Romance Writers of America, Mystery Writers of America, and Sisters in Crime. And here is a link to lots of other writer’s organizations.

 

 

What Does Summer Mean to You?

Call me a creature of the sunlight. Like a little kid, I wake up as soon as dawn chases the darkness away in the morning–regardless of what the clock says. Summer is mornings, freshness, new beginnings.

The vivid colors of the trees, flowers, and sky paint pictures I remember once the winter turns them sodden and blurry. Sometimes I think to snap an actual photo. Usually, I don’t.

I collect sea shells, herbs for drying, and long walks once life cools down in the evening. I love bare feet, shirts without sleeves, windows thrown open to the wind.

To me, summer means Freedom.

What does summer mean to you?

Tip #4 for Keeping on Track with Your Writing

In this final of 4 blog posts with tips for keeping on track with your writing, I want to tell you about the many free database programs available to keep all your book files in a central location.

Many businesses use these database and project management programs for team collaboration and monitoring the numerous projects they have going. Well, we freelancers can use many of these programs as well, even if we don’t employ other people. Some of us go solo during the writing process, but others of us have teams that consist of critique partners, agents, and fellow writers who assist with the process.

I was introduced to Basecamp by a client of mine, a very large company that does business in all 50 states. It has many employees and, as you can imagine, multiple departments that handle different kinds of projects. I began using the free edition of Basecamp and then upgraded so I could use it to work on more than one book at a time.

In fact, when I co-wrote a mystery novel with another write last year, we used Basecamp to keep all our stuff organized. Herb had separate folders where he  uploaded his chapters and research, as I did, but we each had access to the folders. (If you didn’t want to give access to someone, you can do that, too.) We also created a folder where we could upload photos. He lives on the west coast and I live in New England, and each of our lead characters did, too. So uploading  photos was essential for helping our writing partner see what our characters’ part of the world looks like. We also used the program to message each other in real time and had the ability to email files to the central repository, as well.

I currently use Freedcamp, for personal reasons that have nothing to do with any dissatisfaction with any other program and everything to do with meeting my personal preferences for management more closely. Each writer is different, so you may like another database program better.

The best thing about using these programs is that you can keep your actual book manuscript, notes, research files, photos–basically everything to do with your book–in a single location that can be accessed from anywhere–by as many people as you grant access to. You can have several projects running at once, too. Right now, I have three books going at the same time. One completed book is sitting on the desk of both an agent and a publisher so my project is idle, I’m about 60% of the way through the first draft of another, and I’m in the outlining phase of a third.  I’m using the program differently for each of the three book projects, but I still go to the same place when it’s time to work.

The program includes a separate calendar for each project. As I write my WIP, I enter the chapter and scene number in it to keep track of where my characters are–and on what dates and times the scenes take place. The program also includes a task function that works separately for each project and it reminds me as I approach deadlines. I’ll be reminded when it’s time to check with the agent and publisher (assuming they haven’t called me with good news before then!), so I can put that on a back burner in my mind. (Or try to, anyway.)

The free version of Freedcamp I’m using allows me to have an unlimited number of projects and I chose it for that reason, plus its ease of use. If you’re a techie, you might find another product management database more to your liking. Here’s a link to just one of the online articles that provides you with a list of free programs. If you do a search, you can find plenty of other articles that compare them.

I hope this information proves helpful!