Category: Did You Know?

  • Tips for Creating Memorable Fictional Characters

    Tips for Creating Memorable Fictional Characters

    If we writers had crystal balls, we’d have no problem creating memorable fictional characters. Especially when writing short stories and flash fiction.

    But how do I, as a woman, actually know what a guy thinks or feels? Yes, men and women are both human and share many similarities … but, let’s face it, everyone knows they’re different, too.

    In this blog post, I share some of what I learned during the process of co-writing a mystery novel with my friend Herb, and from collecting the opinions of numerous writers over the years.

    Creating Memorable Fictional Characters
    Image by Omar Medina from Pixabay

    Creating Memorable Fictional Characters

    They say to write what you know. But what do I know about being a guy? Or what goes on in the minds of men?

    Another challenge I’ve faced throughout my writing career is to create characters who don’t sound just like me. That challenge is magnified when I’m writing male characters.

    Cowriting with my buddy Herb is, without a doubt, one of the best learning experiences of my writing career. During our collaboration co-authoring a mystery, and throughout the process of critiquing each other’s’ works-in-progress (WIPs), he’s given me insights I wouldn’t have had on my own.

    In short, each of us wrote from the point of view (POV) of specific characters in the book—both male and female. Because each of us has a different background (me with insurance and he with law enforcement and the military), we were able to provide further insight into how our characters would/should behave and talk.

    Quick Quiz

    Can you tell which character (Karl and Stephanie) spoke each of the following lines of dialogu?

    Line 1

    Ed’s boat went down in a storm three days ago. He’s–he’s–gone.”

    Line 2

    Gone? Ed? Three days ago?

    I’ll bet you could. Line 1 is Stephanie and Line 2 is Karl. Read on to learn some of the characteristics that set male and female characters apart.

    Image by 🌸♡💙♡🌸 Julita 🌸♡💙♡🌸 from Pixabay

    The Differences Between Men and Women

    In the controversial but fascinating book, Dangerous Men and Adventurous Women, more than a dozen best-selling romance writers spell out many of the differences they note between men and women. I agree with the perspectives of many of these writers. Specifically, with respect to the manner in which men and women speak, I’ve learned and observed the following generalizations:

    • Although everyone will tell you that women talk more than men do, this isn’t always the case. In fact, a study shows it’s only true in a certain age group.
    • Women ask more questions than men do.
    • Men interrupt more often than women do.
    • Women tend to be specific and men tend to be vague. Just ask a woman and a man what color that dress is. The woman will say mauve and the man will say pink. Or purple.
    • Men are more apt to give orders and women are more apt to make suggestions.

    So, you may be wondering, what does this have to do with creating memorable fictional characters? We need to focus on these differences and incorporate them into our characters’ dialogue and behavior.

    Photo by Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash

    Devices for Creating Characters

    One tool I’ve found useful is to maintain a spreadsheet or chart of the characters in the story or book I’m writing. In it, I list unique manners of speaking and traits for each character while ensuring that no two characters share the same physical gestures, buzz words, etc.

    In the book I’m writing now, Allie is my lead character. She tends to use long, flowing sentences and think deeply. I don’t allow any other characters to use certain words and phrases that she does, such as:

    • Still, though, given, sure, ditto, yep, nope, nah
    • In fact, no kidding, then again

    Willa, a secondary character, speaks and thinks in shorter, more direct sentences. She’s the only character who uses the following words and phrases:

    • Yes!, despite, now, sweetie, however
    • On the other hand, bit my tongue

    I also make sure that when Allie describes people and objects, and just generally inside her head, she uses words and connections with sound and smell. (She’s auditory.) On the other hand, Willa’s awareness is primarily visual. However, they both have a connection with scent that runs through the story.

    Why Showing Differences is Important

    By using separate and distinct qualities and manners of speaking, it’s easier for the reader to (a) identify which character is speaking, and (b) identify with the character herself. By allowing the characters to share a similar trait, I’m able to subtly build the connection between the two women.

    One of the best strategies I use when writing from a male perspective is to ensure that much of the character’s conversation and internal thought is short and to the point. I’ve found that men tend to use less description in their talk, less reference to emotion, and fewer words.

    Here are some examples from Death Benefits, the book Herb and I wrote together. Note how the male and female characters speak differently. See if you can guess which of us wrote which excerpt.

    Excerpt 1

    “Glad to meet you, Mrs. Tito. Um, Stephanie. I’m Karl, Ed’s friend, and I’m in town now. Is Ed home?”

    “Karl?”

    “Yeah, Karl Stryker. Ed’s Army buddy. I want to come by and shoot the … meet up with Ed.”

    After a long pause, the woman wpoke very softly. “You haven’t heard.”

    “Heard what?”

    “Ed’s boat went down in a storm three days ago. He’s–he’s–gone.”

    “Gone? Ed? Three days ago?”

    Excerpt 2

    Manny pulled a notebook from his jacket pocket. “What does this guy look like?”

    She closed her eyes. “Late thirties? Longish blond hair, blue eyes, and clean-shaven. Moved like an athlete. Had a nice, open smile.”

    He could always count on Ann for the details. “How tall?”

    She opened her eyes and grinned. “Taller than me, shorter than you.”

    “Ann.”

    “My eyes were level with the crooked knot of his tie.”

    Creating Memorable Fictional Characters

    To sum up, here’s a chart that contrasts many of the ways in which men and women behave and speak differently. Of course, these are generalizations and each individual man and woman will behave uniquely.

    MENWOMEN
    Find life to be a competitionFind life to be a cooperative effort
    Socialize with other men to DO things togetherSocialze with other women to talk about their FEELINGS and thoughts
    Make decisions about what they plan to do; seldom offer explanationsSay what they want to do and offer the reasons why
    Make statements (they’re direct) *Ask questions and make suggestions (they’re indirect)
    Body language isn’t always congruent with what they’re thking and feeling (e.g., they’ll avoid eye contact or turn away when emotional)Body language usually congruent with how they’re thiking and feeling (e.g., they’ll cry or talk when emotional)
    Seldom initiate or choose to discuss their emotionsOften enjoy and invite emotional conversation
    Learn how they feel by thinkingLearn how they feel by talking
    Interrupt *Take turns
    Ask questions to obtain details and information *Ask questions to continue talking
    Vague (the color is blue)Specific (the color is indigo)
    Rarely use other people’s names in conversationOften use other people’s names in conversation.

    FYI, I inserted an asterisk [*] in the Male column above to show traits I share with most men. Also, FYI, all the Female traits apply to me!

    Share your thoughts below and/or feel free to add your suggestions for additions to the list!

  • Love is Blind … Yes or No?

    Love is Blind … Yes or No?

    I’ve heard the phrase, “Love is blind,” ever since I was a child. For the novel I’m currently writing, I’m exploring the concept because one of my characters believes that if you really love someone, you’ll do anything for that person.

    When I began crafting my characters and plot, I conducted research on the topic. As always, my research had me recognizing some facts about myself … and feeling much better about some of the dumber relationship mistakes I’ve made.

    So, here’s what a handful of scientists and mental health professionals have to say about whether love is blind.

    It’s All About Brain Chemistry

    When we fall in love (or in lust), our bodies go nuts. Especially our brains. Hormones and brain chemicals conspire to interfere with our common sense. They camouflage what really exists and sometimes prompt us to behave in ways we wouldn’t in the absence of all that romance (or lust).

    Thomas Sherman, a noted biochemist and professor at Georgetown University, has said that romantic love subdues the “neural activity associated with critical social assessment of others.” In other words, love makes us believe our lovers are more virtuous and less weak than other people might believe. Love makes us view our lovers through the lens of positivity rather than negativity.

    And it’s not that we twist negative reality or refuse to see weaknesses. It’s simply that when we see them, we don’t think they’re meaningful. I don’t remember who used the phrase but somewhere in my research one of the authors explained the phenomenon as us wearing rose-colored glasses during the early stages of love instead of magnifying glasses.

    A great example involves how we actually see our lovers. How our minds process the tangibles (cognition) and how reach final conclusions (evaluation). Let’s say Jane is greatly attracted to and loves her boyfriend John. When asked to “rate” his handsomeness in both appearance and attractiveness, she says:

    • His appearance, on a scale of 1 to 10, is a 6
    • His attractiveness, on a scale of 1 to 5, is a 4

    Because Jane loves John more for his intelligence and sense of humor than his looks, she rates him higher than an objective observer would. Others, those who like but are not in love with John, would rate him a 3 or 4 in appearance and 2 in attractiveness.

    Our brains actually shut down their logic receptors when we’re in love, which allows us to focus more on our lovers’ positive qualities than on their negative characteristics. In effect, we’re anesthetized to the behaviors that will drive us nuts later on in the relationship.

    Brain Chemicals Behind the “Love is Blind” Phenomenon

    Brain chemicals affect lust, attraction, and attachment. We’ve all felt lust. It’s our estrogen and testosterone that get that ball rolling.

    Attraction is all about enthusiasm, energy, craving and—sometimes—obsession. Three brain chemicals are responsible for these responses:

    • Dopamine regulates our reward centers, motivation, sense of novelty, and directs our goals.
    • Norepinephrine increases our energy, decreases our appetite, races our hearts, and reduces our need for sleep.
    • Serotonin regulates our mood, sleep, appetite, and cognitive functions. It has a tendency to depress and decrease and is responsible for love-related obsession.

    Scientists and psychologists say that, on average, commitment becomes very important in true love relationships about four years in. Commitment can include monogamy, cohabitation, and/or marriage. At this time, the level of dopamine in the brain drops and is replaced by either oxytocin (in women) or vasopressin (in men).

    • Oxytocin is released during childbirth and breastfeeding. It supports the mother-child bonding, pair bonding, and empathy in women.
    • Vasopressin makes a male want to bond with a mate and is responsible for territorial aggression. It’s what makes many men so protective of their girlfriends, wives, and families. However, in most males who are not interested in or capable of pair bonding, it’s been found they have lower than normal levels of vasopressin.

    Other Factors that Support the Love is Blind Concept

    Sherman has also said that “love begins as a stressor then becomes a buffer against the stress.” Love activates the brain’s reward centers. Cortisol increases one’s awareness which, in turn, offsets the stress response. And, of course, dopamine heightens pleasure.

    We’ve all heard the phrases, “love at first sight,” “the One,” and the “halo effect.” Pesky brain chemicals are the culprits here, as well. Love at first sight is most likely a combination of lust/physical attraction and projection—seeing in others what we’re feeling/thinking ourselves. When we’re looking for our soulmate, that’s who we think we’re seeing in this gorgeous, wonderful person. Voilá: The One. The halo effect, what my mother used to call my rose-colored glasses, is believing someone is wonderful simply because we find them attractive. (Don’t we expect the murderer to be ugly and the leading man to be gorgeous?)

    A Final Word

    In short, it’s biology–nature’s attempt to propagate the species–that set our hormones and brain chemicals in motion when we fall in lust. The emotions of true love are an entirely different matter. Few creatures in the wild mate for life.

    It’s shared experiences that help build love after the brain chemicals fade. And keep in mind: communication and communication styles can either make or break a relationship. The signs of true love and a healthy romantic relationship include:

    • Deep emotional intimacy
    • Trust
    • Mutual support and respect
    • Self-awareness
    • Choosing to love the entire, flawed person
    • A balance between individuality and togetherness
    • Belief that love is a journey and not a destination

    Resources

    Here are links to a couple of articles to get you thinking:

    When I consider the above list, I now know why those past relationships of mine didn’t work. What are your thoughts?

  • 2 Cyber Security Tips for Keeping Safe Online

    2 Cyber Security Tips for Keeping Safe Online

    For the past dozen years or so, I’ve been writing insurance continuing education (CE) courses about cyber security and keeping safe online. Yes, I designed these courses for insurance licensees but they contain information that’s beneficial and essential for everyone to know.

    There are WAY more than 2 tips available. I’m just limiting myself today. You can bet I’ll be providing more in the future.

    TIP 1: Avoid Current Scams

    Right now, aside from ransomware, two of the biggest cyber security scams everyone is vulnerable to are Quick Response (QR) codes and CAPTCHA verificiation. Both were designed to keep us safe; however bad actors exploit them to take advantage of us.

    Basically, a quick response (QR) code is a form of barcode that stores retrievable data for digital devices to read. If you want the long explanation, AVAST explains it here.

    Are QR codes safe? Most sources say yes, however, bad actors do exploit them. A few years ago, they scammed the City of Austin, Texas and its residents. The bad guys replaced official QR codes on parking meters and defrauded both the city and those who parked. How? Their phony QR codes directed payments to a phony site, where the bad actors stole confidential personal and payment information. As a result, parkers were also fined for illegal parking.

    Here’s a recent article in PCWorld that tells you how to avoid these scams, which are on the rise.

    photo by jensenartofficial on Pixabay

    CAPTCHA is an acronym for technology that allows a website to detect the difference between a human visitor and a software program called a “bot”. You’ve used this tech before. You see 9 images and have to click on all of those with buses, or bicycles, or cars. Other tests require you to type a word or answer a question after having to think about or review an image. IBM explains CAPTCHA here.

    Although most sources say CAPTCHA is viewed as a great security device, it’s not always convenient or as secure as some would like. In addition, there are an increasing number of of phony CAPTCHA scams out there, as Guardio reports.

    photo by https://pixabay.com/users/simon-3/

    Tip 2: understand what makes you vulnerable

    We all believe we’re practicing safe cyber security. None of us expects to fall prey to cybercriminals or their scams. However, certain characteristics can actually make us MORE vulnerable to cybercrime than the average person. The MOST vulnerable people exhibit more than one of the following characteristics:

    • Use a WEAK password
    • Use the same password for most (or all) of their accounts
    • Work from home

    Here’s a list of the major things you want to do to keep safe in the cyber world. They’re also great tools for practicing good cyber security:

    Password

    Use a strong password: one with 16-20 characters. It should also contain a combination of upper and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols. It should NOT contain:

    • Personal information (like your DOB, address, zip code, last four of Social Security #, etc.)
    • Consecutive numbers or letters (123 or abc)
    • Repated numbers or letters (333, 3030, or zzz)
    • Information others can easily guess (the names of your spouse, kids, or grandkids; your pets names; your favorite sports team, author, or TV show, etc.)

    password manager

    Use a password manager. Here’s a link that explains what a password manager is, how it works, and a few ratings. Sure, there’s a learning curve, but it’s worth it. Also, keep in mind that different password managers offer different features. You can choose one that’s as basic or feature-rich as you’d like.

    multi-factor authentication (mfa)

    Make sure you use multi-factor authentication (MFA), also called 2-factor authentication. Basic account logins require you to provide a user ID and password. (Ironically, the user ID is required to be your email address, which anyone can obtain! How secure is THAT?) Of course, because you know your user ID and password , other people can know them, too. This is where MFA comes in: it requires a third piece of information. This info is either something YOU HAVE or something YOU ARE. The something you have is your smartphone and an authenticator app or text messaging app that receives codes. You’re only able to login to your account after providing your user ID and password IF you also provide the code sent to your phone’s authenticator or messaging app. Of course, another method of authentication is biometrics: thumbprints, facial recognition, retina scans, etc.

    virtual private network (VPN)

    Always use a Virtual Private Network (VPN) if you’re on public WiFi. You should also use it on any network where you’re not sure of the level of security. A VPN camouflages the IP address of your device, its physical location, and encrypts the data you send and receive. Here’s a great article on PCMag that explains what a VPN is, how it works, and offers reviews of companies that provide them. I use two VPNs. One is a basic VPN with my antivirus software (that’s on all my devices). The other is a robust VPN purchased for an annual cost of about $70; I use this one when I travel.

    security updates

    Make sure you update your computer and ALL devices routinely AND when the updates are available. Did you know that you can schedule these updates so they occur when you prefer them to, rather than whenever your computer chooses to install them? Here are two articles that explain how to do this: one from PCMag and another from Tom’s Guide.

    one additional tip

    If you’re going to conduct online research about anything related to cyber security, I have a recommendation. Do NOT visit sites that have a vested interest in or bias about the subject at hand. In other words, don’t ask Microsoft or Apple who makes the best computers. Don’t ask McAfee or Norton who designed the best antivirus software. Also, don’t visit news outlets, as they often sell ads to tech companies and have a vested interest in them.

    I’ve found the following online resources to be helpful and largely objective when looking for tips, advice, etc.:

    As always, share your questions and thoughts.

  • What Do Writing Fiction, Watercolor Painting, and Crystals Have in Common?

    What Do Writing Fiction, Watercolor Painting, and Crystals Have in Common?

    To answer the question, what do writing fiction, watercolor painting, and crystals have in common? the answer is: ME!

    I’m finding myself seeking something different from Social Media these days, something more in line with what matters to me. I know that sounds selfish (because it is) but maybe you feel the same way.

    Now that I’m semi-retired and able to spend more time doing what I love (writing fiction, watercolor painting, and crystals), I find that I prefer to “chat” with people who share the same interests. A flash of inspiration struck, so I’m now prompting conversations on these (and other interesting to me) topics on my blog over at https://lindamchenry.com/blog.

    Feel free to head over and join in the exchange! Some of the conversations appearing soon include:

    • What’s Your Favorite Type of Crystal/Gemstone? (posting at noon on Monday, 2/3)
    • Are You, or Someone You Know, a Highly Sensitive Person? (posting on Friday, 2/7)
    • Are You a Pantser, Plotter, or BOTH? (posting on Monday, 2/10)
    • Sometimes, Do You Just KNOW? (posting on Friday, 2/13)
  • Those Email Messages You’re NOT Receiving…

    Those Email Messages You’re NOT Receiving…

    Here’s a quick little lesson to all of you who keep hearing that other people are sending you emails. And resending them. Then sending them again … and, still, those email messages are not appearing in your Inbox!

    Let me tell you WHY you’re not receiving all those emails. They’re going to your Junk folder (which can also be labelled as Spam, Bulk, or something else). And they may be automatically deleted without you even knowing it.

    Fair Warning

    I am not a tech guru, IT nerd, or expert on technology. I am someone who uses email A LOT and have learned lessons the hard way. I’m sharing what I’ve learned, through my own experiences. I’m also sharing a few resources so you can do your own research about those email messages you’re not receiving … and/or that you don’t want to receive…

    Email Security Settings

    Each email app and software includes its own security settings. These settings offer options about how YOU can handle unwanted email, which is referred to as Junk, Spam, or Bulk messages. They also help you receive the email you WANT to receive!

    In many cases, if YOU don’t adjust your Junk settings, the following may automatically be sent to your Junk folder; messages:

    • Sent from someone who is not in your contact list
    • With attachments and/or hyperlinks
    • Sent as part of a bulk emailing
    • Sent by someone who has not emailed you before, or to whom you have not already sent an email

    Junk Email Settings in Outlook and Other Email Apps/Software

    The following images show you what your Junk options are if you use Outlook. You can find them by going to Home > Junk:

    • The image on the left shows the Junk Options
    • The image on the right shows how you can ADD someone into a Safe Sender’s list, meaning the messages from that individual email address or domain will NOT be sent to your Junk folder

    Here are some articles to show you how to set up your Junk settings in:

    A Final Note about Junk Email Messages

    Junk email settings are a lot easier to control when your email address is proprietary rather than free. For example, my email address is associated with my website domain, so I have complete control over it. If you use Gmail, Yahoo, AOL, or any other free email software, you may not have as much freedom to control the settings.

    Be aware that when you open ANY kind of email account the security settings are the default settings used by that app/software. Those settings may not be to your advantage, depending upon your preferences and whether the app/software is free. I’ve heard of settings that automatically delete all Junk mail after a specified period of time (e.g., 72 hours or one week) if the account owner doesn’t change the settings.

    I hope this info is helpful! Reach out to me if I can be of further assistance.